Ain't it funny?

Now how about this for irony:

A few days ago, I learn that my boyfriend finds out that his baby mama was cheating on him with some man named Clinton while HE was cheating on ME with her. HA! Ain't that some sh*t? And this ninja had the nerve to be mad at her? When he was cheatin' too? And had the audacity to tell the new man, Clinton, that she was with them at the same time! Now if he don't care who she dates or what she does, why the hell is he all in her business like that? Does he really expect me NOT to think that he still wants Tamika? Damn. FUCKED. Literally.

Anyway. I am tired of feeling lied to. Every time he opens his mouth, I can tell he is trying to process what he should and should not say to me. It's sickening because I know that I only get bits and pieces. And something tells me that if I were to see Tamika right now and ask her when she slept with Kareem last, she would not say October 2010. To be real, I know in my heart that he hasn't stopped. If he had, why the hell did he get so mad when he saw a picture of Clinton's dick on Tamika's phone?  Furthermore, why the fuck was he even touching her damn phone so much in the first place? Damn, you had your brother googling area codes and whatnot! Why? And every time I ask this, all he can say is that Tamika had other options. In other words, why was she with me at my parents house for Christmas when she could have been with her man?  Hmm. Maybe she was with you because ya'll are still fucking!!! Shit, you already knew all about Clinton and even suspected they were sleeping together a long time ago. So why the fucking shock? Really. And you needed this to happen before you actually took seriously the possibility that you and her are broken up? Really?  Again, am I supposed to think you weren't at the least fucking her?

The bitch don't even know I'm around and I should feel happy about this because I don't have to dodge her? Uhh.. Last time I checked, you two sit on the phone, you trying to make the conversation about the kids, her trying to be your little side-kick, and me sitting there twiddling my thumbs looking like Boo-Boo the fool.  And I know when I am not there, you are too much of a pussy to actually make her understand that it is ONLY about the kids. You two shoot the shit like best buddies and then you wanna smile in my face like I shouldn't feel some type of way. Hell no. I can't anymore. We need to back this shit up. Let's just be friends. 

I sit in silence, always. I won't anymore. Time to get motherfucking loud.

Seriously, I just feel like I was used to make him feel better because that bitch was being a fucking bitch (in heat all the damn time.) So, you like me when Tamika is mean to you, and you want to marry me all of a sudden now that you know Tamika is capable of being just as vicious and malicious as you have been. So yea. I'm supposed to take you seriously.

How 'bout he says, "I think I just need to buy the ring, and then it will all be real to me." So basically, you're all set to buy a ring and THEN decide on who's finger you would like to place it.. BTW, this must be the same damn ring you told me you put down on.  Remember that? Oh yea, that's right. You only said that because you were cheating on me and you wanted me to think you really cared for me.  Yea. He told me that in bed. He also told me he would never have sex with Tamika again because she was only out to trap him with another baby. He told me THAT WHILE he was inside me, in bed. Yep. That's just what I am. Fucked.

So' while I feel sorry for all the people who have ever had to find out the person they love(d) is cheating (lying) to them via sextmessage, I cannot say that I feel much of anything anymore.

He's even told me that it's okay for us not to have sex.

Honestly, I think we both know that we shouldn't be together right now. Honestly, I can't even say I am in love. I love him, but more like a friend now. I can't be in love with someone who just isn't there for me. He's too wrapped in Tamika, her hurt-ass feelings, her mother-f*cking stupid antics and her pitiful begging/ threats.

I am angry right now. So Kareem, if you ever read this, you need to understand that I really think you are dead-wrong yourself. Understand that I do not take your talk of marriage to anyone seriously. Understand that I don't deserve what you give, but that I do deserve more. Understand that this shit is not a pity-party for you OR me. I DO NOT NEED ANYONE TO FEEL SORRY FOR ME. And frankly, I am done feeling sorry for you. Now, bitches, do somethin' about it. I know I will.