Reading over my postings brings me back to each moment, the raw emotion of that time. It doesn't matter how long ago it was. Still feels the same...
When I think about my life, I realize that I am not as intelligent and wise as people may say. Sure, I give good advice, but the wisdom I wish I possessed is something you cannot gain from man alone. I owe all of my success to every ounce of God in me.
I do wish that my life were different. I wish for peace and rest. I wish for a place to stop and look out at the flowers with no worries. No fears. I wish to know that I am loved. Rather, I wish to understand the value of being loved truly. I wish I knew what this meant and I wish I wasn't afraid of never knowing what this means.
I love hard and I am no longer ashamed of that. But do I love stupid? Do I love you stupid? Reminds me of a line from a song... "You loved me crazy. I lost my mind. You're everything I ever wanted and all the things I didn't need. This 'ain't how I wanna be."
I need therapy.
Workin' on it.
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