My world is falling apart. I loved you more than I loved myself- and that was the problem. Right now, I am hurting beyond anything I have known, especially because I feel I have lost so much, so greatly. "When you lose, don't lose the lesson." That's the comment of a very wise person. What are the lessons for me to learn here?

In relationships, I tend to lose my values in an attempt to compromise.
Unfortunately, I am in love, so breaking up hurts. I'm not sure when or if it will get better. I feel empty inside, and nothing, not even the sunshine can lift me out of this pain.
I try to look forward to my future, prospects of loving someone else, prospects of finding a love that is true and kind, and respectful, and honest, and loyal, and faithful... But when I do think of this, a knot wells in my throat, tears come to my eyes, and I feel sick because in my future, all I want to see is you.

I keep thinking of past offenders, people who have hurt me before; None have hurt me as deeply as you.

I feel numb. I'm just trying to drag myself through the days. All I want is to lay on my couch or bed until all the pain goes away. I just want the pain to go away.