Today I am feeling down, but I have had reminder after reminder that there is so much for which I should be thankful. No, everything is not alright, but I am here. I am alive, with a place to sleep every night, enough money to put gas in my car and food on my plate. I am of sound mind and body. Though my heart is broken and my spirit is weak and confused, I am here.
I don't want to love anymore. I am afraid. I am so afraid to love you. I don't want to hurt anymore! But the pain is driving me now. It makes me stronger. Those hot tears dripping down my face are just a reminder of what had transpired and what will be no more. One day, I won't have to cry because someone who really loves me, really and truly loves me, will be here to wrap his arms around me and hold me tightly.
Today I feel like breaking down, and every little piece of me is holding on for dear life. All I want is some joy.
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