Vindication

Vindicate: to set free; free from allegation or blame
Vindictive: disposed to seek revenge

Funny how the two words are nearly the same in spelling but represent two different things in the English language...

I want you to suffer. I want you to crumple down on your floor in a heap of tears and snot and pain and breathlessness so deep and powerful that all you see is the darkness hovering before your eyes. (Don't worry about me becoming jaded by what has happened, by what we've all done to one another- because I take some of the blame. Don't worry because I am. I am jaded. Ha.)

I want you to hurt. I want you to feel a grief so overwhelming that your one desire is to disappear from the face of the planet.

I want you to know what it feels like to want to crawl under a rock and die. Go down, down into a place so wretched that you know what it feels to want to exist no more- to be nothing!

I don't hate you- at least, not all of you. I hate those pieces of you that are spiteful, vindictive, and vengeful. I despise your petty nature and immaturity in matters of the heart and fairness.

All I want is for you to suffer in the same way that you have made me. But I wouldn't hurt you if I could.

"One day, [you'll] fall into your brew and take down some of the boys with you too. -Sade.